He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
handjob tips. give me some.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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