I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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