Fuck appropriateness.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
