sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I will pee on everything he values.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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