whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
