Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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