girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Terrible idea I love it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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