soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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