Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
