so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
