i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
