Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
