the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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