i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
