lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
