All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think my vagina is haunted
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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