watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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