Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
