I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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