Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
