U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
