I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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