I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
