Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Barsexuality is the new black.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
