Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
