Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
