I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
