great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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