a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
