Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The power of my boobs compel you
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
