Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
