At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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