Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
