have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
