her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
