good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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