You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
