You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
