i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
