you have to choose: penises or morals?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I wear drunk well.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
