he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
