Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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