What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
