Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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