My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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