ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
