If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
