I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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