I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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