well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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