Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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