I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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