In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
